For the Office

The gentle hum of a life well-averaged.

$247.00

Finish lines drawn by people who aren't running.

$224.00

Because blame is easier to distribute than credit.

$229.00

That feeling you had once, before all this.

$259.00

Doing the same thing repeatedly is just a personality now.

$212.00

A lit fuse on an empty barrel.

$238.00

The shared resignation of people who have stopped asking why.

$199.00

Someone has to decide. It won't be you.

$264.00

Rearranging deck chairs with confidence.

$241.00

The silent expectation you will never quite meet.

$257.00

Nine years in and no one remembers why you started.

$219.00

The metric that made the numbers more important than the people.

$232.00

Ambitions your brain hasn't talked you out of yet.

$244.00

It knocked. You were in a meeting.

$207.00

The ability to pretend a meeting is productive.

$188.00

The equal distribution of all your disappointments.

$226.00

A moving target. Upward. Always upward.

$251.00

Where your ambitions go to wait.

$218.00

Circling back on your performance. It's fine.

$89.00

Tally-mark glaze. Engraved forever.

$94.00

Brewed. Drained. Invoiced.

$87.00

Stays in the office. Like you.

$82.00

Now with bonus TPS cover sheet.

$103.00

Brewed by committee.

$78.00

Please stop projecting onto it.

$76.00

The inspirational quote has faded.

$91.00

Per my last email, the title is accurate.

$184.00

The month was what it was.

$162.00

As discussed, daily, forever.

$171.00

Please stop adding me to this thread.

$198.00

Promoted in lieu of a raise since 2021.

$156.00

The enthusiasm is self-reported.

$213.00

A 500-count pad. Neutral gray. Pre-printed.

$67.00

300 pages of pre-printed unchecked boxes.

$74.00

Every month is February.

$58.00

Every day is T-minus 3.

$62.00

Every page begins with the phrase.

$54.00

Blank pages, bound handsomely.

$89.00

As discussed, attendance is a minimum viable accomplishment.

$312.00

Framed. Generic. Unsigned.

$218.00

Brass. Engraved. Accurate.

$267.00

Unengraved. By request.

$389.00

Ribbon. Brass. Unconvincing.

$203.00

Loses air slowly. As discussed, this is intentional.

$124.00

The rake is wider than the tray.

$149.00

Ambient fluorescent hum. On loop.

$113.00

The balls do not click back.

$158.00

Reply hazy. Try less.

$96.00

Twelve black pens. All slightly different. None correct.

$84.00

For when you no longer wish to be found.

$71.00

Bleak stock photo under rubber.

$58.00

Magnetic. Reusable. Permanent.

$47.00